Wednesday May 8, 2019

Matthew 7:7 “Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you”

The aftermath of last night was apparent this morning with everyone. I got up and did my yoga and then the family slowly started to wake one by one. I think Jeff was still a bit out of sorts from last night so he chose to go the hospital this morning. I had felt like Anjali and I had a great conversation last night about various ways that we can work through some of our disagreements and her desires for more independence and freedom of choices, but I learned otherwise.

Lucia pained my toes today!

While David and Lucia busted their schoolwork out quickly, Anjali claimed to be doing her work in her room because it was too loud at the table. Now I will say, this has been an ongoing battle with her because she NEVER does her work when she does this, but after our conversation last night I opted to give her a chance to prove that she can do it and to give her a little bit of leeway. Every time I went in to check on her she told me she was doing her work and that she didn’t need any help, so I trusted her and moved on to helping David and Lucia. When I left for the grocery store, she told me she was almost done with her last assignment, so I told her to finish it up and then be off the tablet, to which she agreed.

When I got home from the store, the kids were all outside playing, so I unloaded the groceries and checked Anjali’s assignments. I quickly learned that she had done a total of about 45 minute of work for the whole school day. She was doing none of her schoolwork every time I checked on her, which meant that she had lied to me multiple times. I was so disappointed. I called her inside to talk with her and Jeff came home shortly afterwards. He didn’t want anything to do with this conversation, probably because he would have lost it again, and I can’t blame him for that!

This was a really hard conversation to have with Anjali because I had to verbalize how she had just broken my trust. How am I to trust anything she says after she lied so many times directly to my face? It was heartbreaking for me. This is not how Anjali used to behave and it is quite disturbing that she would choose this path of lying to get out of her school work. I really feel lost as to how to handle this situation. We opted to take her tablet and computer away from her for an undetermined time until she proves to us that she can be trusted with the internet and electronics. She didn’t like this consequence because she said it didn’t match the crime, to which I offered her the opportunity to come up with a better one (which she never did).

I tried so hard to lighten mood, but to be honest it was really difficult; I felt so defeated. But we did end up having a nice evening playing Bean Boozled (the Jelly Belly game with nasty and disgusting jelly beans) together as a family. It was nice to spend some time together, even if I had to eat Jelly Beans that tasted like “Stinky Socks” and “Canned Dog Food”.

The kids went to bed and Jeff and I followed shortly afterwards. As I laid in bed I prayed for God’s guidance and help with our relationship with Anjali. I don’t know how to approach this because she has a lot of work to do to gain back some of my trust. I am putting a lot of faith into this scripture today, “Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you” (Matthew 7:7). I am banging down the door begging for some answers/direction/help with this.

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