God’s Grace

“So have no fear, I myself will provide for you and your little ones.” In this way he reassured them, speaking kindly to them. – Genesis 50:21

I can’t believe we have already been back for 8 months. So much has happened and I can’t even begin to describe the overwhelming grace and love God has shown us. One of the biggest fears Jeff and I had about our year of service was the return home. We didn’t have worries about the travels or the new places, we worried about the return. We were going to return home jobless and homeless. Could we find a place to live that still provided our children with a good school, moreover, one we could afford and qualify to rent since neither of us had a job? Could we even find a job? I haven’t worked professionally in 12 years, and Jeff just left a job of 20 years. What was this going to look like for our family? Despite these fears, we forged ahead, living on our faith that God would provide.

We had an amazing year volunteering and serving God’s people, animals, and earth. I do believe that we wanted to have the faith that He would not foresake us upon our return, but there a few times we questioned His promise to us. Even though we were volunteering and in most places working almost full-time, coming back was re-entering “real life”. Finding stability for our family was a whole different kind of challenge.

Our pastor spoke of fear a few Sundays ago and it reminded me of the fear we felt before leaving for this year of service and the many conversations Jeff and I had about our return. I am not sure who “pushed us off the diving board” but we did get pushed, and we left, not knowing what it was going to look like on the other side. That worry and fear never dissipated; it would come and go throughout that year and would become ever more prominent as we approached our last few months abroad.

We struggled to find a place to live. We knew we had friends that would house us, if needed, but it that wasn’t what we hoped to do. We were denied multiple times for apartments because neither of us had an income, we had the money, just not the job. I applied for 40-45 jobs, and Jeff the same, but nothing. I worked as a waitress before we left to earn some extra money and thankfully my old manager gave me job, which was something. I was so grateful to my old supervisor for verifying my employment as a waitress/bartender when we were still overseas. His faith in me, and his friendship, allowed us get into a beautiful apartment in a wonderful school district. God’s work already at hand. Plus, I had a job and was so thankful for that.

As I look back over the last 8 months, it could not be more clear that God was at work in our lives, making sure we had what we needed, just as he had done over the previous year. It may have been stressful and a little scary, but Jeff and I continually reminded each other to be patient. Things needed to happen on God’s time, not ours.

This past few months have been so overwhelming. God’s work in our lives is still constant. New jobs, new opportunities, a new house, etc. I found a job (career) working at one of the local hospital as a medical social worker. I could not be more happy in this position. It is one that I never though t I would ever get, as I have no experience in the medical field and I thought for sure that they would look right past me, but they didn’t and I have a job I absolutely love.

We started looking at houses on a whim, just to see what was out there. We were shocked that we found a house that was exactly what we had wanted, small. We fell in love with it, but thought there was no way we would qualify, especially since Jeff didn’t have a full-time job (more on this later). But that was not the case. We qualified and we bought the house. But now we needed to find new tenants for our apartment because our lease was not up until the end of June. After several stressful weeks of thinking that we may have to carry a mortgage and rent (which would have been, let’s say, difficult, on just my income), we found a family needing to rent a place for the short-term while their house was being renovated. Things worked out better than we could have hoped and we closed on our house on Valentine’s Day (maybe that was yet another God showed his love for us?).

Jeff has struggled a bit more with the employment, which was completely baffling to me. He has 20 years of experience in sales/finance/management, how could he not find a job? (Actually, let us clarify..Jeff did find a job working in the Costco deli, for which we are very grateful, it just not a career.) Now, neither of us understood why Jeff was having so much difficulty finding a career, that is until now.

Back in July, shortly after coming home, Jeff decided to through a wild card into the mix by applying to the Madison Police Department. I know that he would make an amazing police officer and that he would absolutely love this job, but he was not very sure of his chances given his limited (or rather non-existent) experience in the field and most other applicants tend to be in their 20’s (there are not many applicants who are 40+). But here we are, almost 8 months after his application was submitted and he has just completed the final step of the process. Now we don’t know if he’ll be hired, but I truly believe that this is God’s path for him. He has been turned down for jobs for which he is either qualified or overqualified and I don’t even know if he could count the number of applications he has submitted with no response at all. But not with the police department. He has been selected to continue through this arduous process at every stage. At this point, he has no other applications out there, he/we are putting our faith in God and so we just wait patiently for God’s timing.

I am so grateful for God’s love and grace. We trusted in His way, His path, His love and we were not disappointed. He has always provided for what we need and He has never left us. Our faith has been a constant reminder that fear only holds us back from the exceptional life God has planned for us.

I knew God would provide for us, but I had no idea it would be this wonderful. I was ready for God to give us what we needed, not more than we could have ever imagined. For the first time in 9 years, we have a place of our own. A place we know our kids can grown-up without the unknown of “will we have to move next year, and a place Jeff and I can maintain for many years. The location could not be better, tons of kids and walking distance to all the schools/grocery stores/bus stops. I have a job I love and we are hopeful that Jeff will have the job that he has long desired. God’s grace is truly overwhelming if you are able to turn your back and let go of the fear that keeps us from God.

I know there will be hard times in the future, there have already been times of uncertainty since returning, but these times pass as long as we don’t get caught up in the fear.

“So have no fear, I myself will provide for you and your little ones.” In this way he reassured them, speaking kindly to them. – Genesis 50:21

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