Sunday June 16, 2019

Psalm 73:23-28 Nevertheless I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me with honor. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire other than you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Indeed, those who are far from you will perish; you put an end to those who are false to you. But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, to tell of all your works.

We were stirred this morning by the beautiful bells of St. Jakobi Kirche bright and early. I will miss these bells. I am not sure why, but they give me comfort and peace, though I do wish they were a bit later than 6:30 am! We enjoyed a nice breakfast and then made the long 30 second walk down the stairs to church. It was nice to be in this church again, but I am also excited to get back to our church in Madison, where I understand what is going on during the service. Jeff helped Johannes after the service today and then I took all the kids to Susi and Renee. They were gracious enough to have our children over for dinner tonight so Jeff and I could attend a concert at the church without being interrupted by misbehaving kids!

Jeff and I have talked a lot about going back to the States. I will be honest, I have been hoping and wishing and praying for God to lead me down a different path, but He has not yet; as of now, all paths lead to Madison. So that is where we will go. I will say that it is comforting knowing that we now have a place to live when we return, but there is still so much up in the air. Not to mention that pain in my heart knowing that tomorrow we are leaving these wonderful people and this beautiful place that has brought us so much joy. We have one more day to enjoy them and I know that this time goodbye is going to much more difficult.

As I look around at our belongings, I have such a wide range of emotions. I am so relieved that this is all we have because I know I can pack it up in a couple of hours. And yet, I know that by packing everything up we are going to have to say, yet another goodbye. I am not sure who said this to me, but it is very fitting as we close out this year, we have had a year of ‘hellos’ and ‘goodbyes’. God has put people in our lives that have made a lasting impact on us and I am so grateful for the ‘hellos’ to these beautiful people and then the heartbreak of the ‘goodbyes’ is always too soon, but the ‘goodbyes’ always lead to another ‘hello’. It is an amazing cycle that is wonderful and difficult at the same time. Tomorrow we say ‘goodbye’ to Schonebeck’ and then hello to our family in Arizona. For tonight, this will be all. I will do my best to put my faith in God and his way. I will work hard to trust in His path, even if it is not what I would choose.

Sunday May 26, 2019

Isaiah 28:16 “therefore thus says the Lord GodSee, I am laying in Zion a foundation stone, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone, a sure foundation: “One who trusts will not panic.”

The context of this passage is a bit frightening insofar as it discusses a vision of the Lord beating the people like grain – being threshed until they are once again pure.  This snippet however seems to stand in contrast as a beacon of hope amidst the coming terror.  Basically, the Lord is about to bring furious judgement, but don’t worry because it will all work out.  Mysterious indeed.

As for the day, well that was less mysterious.  Today was our last day of church in Romania.  We gathered ourselves together and made the walk to church though we were slowed a tad by Anjali “Crutches” Hayes.  She was a trooper but had to stop regularly to give her hands and arms a break.  The message from church was spot on for our feelings the last few days.  Both Sara and I remarked about how we both felt that the lesson spoke directly to us and we both felt a bit embarrassed by some of our poor choices and thoughts the previous few days.  I suppose I could chalk it up to the stress of the unknown or trying to make plans but in reality we just weren’t being very good Christians in our thoughts.  Fortunately there had been no damage yet done and we just needed a bit of a reset from the Lord.  We were also given a very unexpected but equally appreciated send off by the congregation and took some extra time after service to say our goodbyes.

 

The plan was then to head to the city square to enjoy a beautiful Sunday afternoon, get some lunch, and just enjoy Brasov.  Unfortunately the aforementioned “Crutches” wasn’t having it.  The pain was too much and we could not find a cab to hail down to take us the rest of the way.  After some tears and aggravation we opted to send Sara, David, and Luci into town and Anjali and I stayed back at the apartment.  When all was said and done we got what we needed.  Sara had some quality time with the younger kids and Anjali and I got to hang out.

We had another restful evening with leftovers for dinner and then I headed out for one final Sunday evening of Ultimate Frisbee.  This group of new friends will be greatly missed.  I was blessed to be invited to play with them and I feel that in a short time we have created some strong bonds.  I had often wanted to play back in Madison but kept making excuses.  Having played these last few months in Brasov I can no longer muster any reasons not to play.  While I will miss the Transylvania Ultimate Frisbee (aka TUF) team, I am looking forward to going home and starting up with a new group.

I don’t think the cornerstone Isaiah references was anything so mundane as playing ultimate frisbee, but I think that God’s cornerstones come in all shapes, sizes, and places.  In looking back at this year I can see many times that a cornerstone was laid for something else down the road, whether it was for a new opportunity to volunteer, a new friendship, or something as yet unknown.  I trust the Lord and therefore will not panic.

Sunday April 21, 2019

Isaiah 25:4 For you have been a refuge to the poor, a refuge to the needy in their distress, a shelter from the rainstorm and a shade from the heat.

Christ Has Risen!!! He Has Risen Indeed!!! Amen!!!

I can’t believe today is Easter Sunday. Our time abroad has just flown by and to be honest it wasn’t until just today at church that I felt “church sick” (this is the version of homesickness I created for missing our church service back home). Our church here is great. It is in English with a very welcoming congregation. I am not sure if it was because today in Romania is not Easter, but rather Palm Sunday or if it is because there is no organ or hymns at our church here, but rather a contemporary style worship filled with praise songs. I do enjoy the services here, so please don’t take me as complaining, I guess I am just sharing how much it hit me that I do miss the worship service back in Madison. I miss the hymns, the organ, the sermons, and the fellowship (though we do get a wonderful fellowship opportunity here).

I’ll backtrack a bit. We got up the morning and had some homemade banana bread that was slightly burnt (our oven doesn’t have any number to indicate the temperature, you just have to guess and I guessed a temperature that was too high). The kids opened their gifts left behind by the Easter Bunny and then searched for the eggs outside. Everyone had a lot of fun and then we headed off to church, realizing that today was only Palm Sunday for our church here in Romania and not Easter Sunday.

Being that it was Easter for us I really like this scripture reading for today. It is a wonderful reminder that God is always looking out for us and always keeping us close to His heart. That He will provide me refuge and protection during the trials and tribulations of my life. I am so grateful for His love and His care for me and my family that it can be overwhelming at times.

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After a quick run to the store for a few things we forgot yesterday we were home for lunch. The kids wanted to play on their tablets, so Jeff and I visited while preparing dinner. I was missing my church music so much that I found a YouTube playlist from King’s College in Cambridge, England. It was wonderful to hear the organ and traditional hymns, even though some were Christmas songs! We had a great dinner of BBQ ribs, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, and tomato/cucumber salad.

I love catching my kids hanging out together and seemingly enjoying each other’s company.

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Once dinner was done it was finally late enough to call our families and wish them all a Happy Easter. It was so nice for the kids to see their grandparents and to share about their day and what the Easter Bunny brought to them. The kids were very excited about the things waiting for them this morning. It was a fun 30 minutes of conversation. I am not sure how the grandparents felt about the conversation, but the kids sure had a good time. 

Jeff headed out for Ultimate Frisbee and I hung out on the couch to watch the show Reign while finishing my bottle of wine. I am really enjoying these Sunday nights because the kids are asleep and I am able to watch a show that Jeff would not enjoy watching with me.

Tuesday April 16, 2019

Ecclesiastes 2:22-25 What do mortals get from all the toil and strain with which they toil under the sun? For all their days are full of pain, and their work is a vexation; even at night their minds do not rest. This also is vanity.

There is nothing better for mortals than to eat and drink, and find enjoyment in their toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God; for apart from him who can eat or who can have enjoyment?

I started today with a hike, after getting the video all set up and ready to go, but as I started my descent down Thunderbird Mountain my ankle decided to completely give out on me when I landed on an unstable rock. I spent a few minutes breathing through the pain of my sprained ankle, but quickly realized that there was too much happening today to sit and wallow in pain. So I continued down the mountain, this time walking, and much to my surprise the pain started to dull and before I knew it was running again. Unfortunately it swelled and bruised pretty quickly, but there was no way this was going to keep me from the day ahead. I have sprained my ankles so many times that I have somehow become accustomed to the pain and discomfort associated with it. I guess this scripture hit the nail on the head in respect to our lives being full of pain, however, this is definitely not vanity–this is the result of years and years of soccer and sprained ankles!

So I powered through the hike. I got home and finished up burning copies of the video for family and then got ready for the service. Once we got to the church I was blessed to see people that I have not seen in years (some more years than I can count) and it was so wonderful to be embraced and loved by people who have supported and followed our journey. It was a wonderful service and a time of shared memories and reflections on the amazing woman who has left this world, leaving us all missing her. I learned so much from my grandmother and cherished every visit I got with her. When we told her about our plans for this year, she was quick to respond that if God was calling us, we needed to follow. I know that she worried and prayed for us, but her faith in God was steady and unwavering. She has always been an example of the saying, “walking by faith” and I loved the conversations we had about God and faith. She never told us we were crazy, but rather assured us that God would always be with us. I learned so much from her and I am so sad that she is gone. I am going to miss her so much; I already do.

It does surprise me though how much comfort you receive by sharing stories and memories, especially those that make you laugh. I am not sure what it is about laughing, but it seems to weaken the hold grief and sadness has on my heart. My grandmother had a beautiful laugh and when she laughed, everyone around her did too. Our world lost a wonderful woman, but she left a legacy with everyone she met and it brought me so much joy to hear about all the people she touched in so many different ways.

After the service we spent the afternoon with family at my parent’s house, but everyone was gone by about 6, which meant that I got to spend this last bit of time I had with my parents and brothers and I loved it. I tried to go to bed early (11 pm), but still couldn’t fall asleep until 2 am. I can just feel how tired I am going to be tomorrow when the alarm goes off at 4:20 am, but all of the exhaustion and jet lag is worth being here with family to celebrate the life of a woman who made such an impact on my life. But I am also so very excited to go home to my family in Romania. I have missed them so very much, and while they are managing without me, there is no place that I’d rather be right now.

A weird snippet of the day: the day started sunny and a beautiful 70 F, but by the time we got to the cemetery at 3:00 pm the winds had picked up and the clouds started to darken. But the sky did not let go until after everyone had left my parents house, which was so amazing to have rain while I was in Arizona. The smell you get from a desert rain is indescribable and the double rainbow left behind was my grandmother’s way of sharing her love with us from heaven.

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Sunday April 14, 2019

Philippians 4:8-9 Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing the things that you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.

I enjoyed a really nice day with my mom and dad, but the jet lag is just cruel. I woke up this morning after about 4 hours of sleep and headed for a hike with my mom. I really miss the mountains and the hikes here in Arizona, it is a great way to start your day.

We then spent part of the afternoon running some errands to gather some things requested by kids to bring back for them (ie: sour candy, mac and cheese, and books). This evening we met with Jesse, Tessa, and Annecy for some really good Mexican food where I had a margarita and some spicy food to go along with the fabulous company of family.

I am so glad I was able to make the journey back to my family for my grandmother’s service; it would have been extremely difficult to not be here. I really am trying to take full advantage of my family and the very short time I have with them before heading back to Romania. Being with my parents and siblings has brought me so much peace as we celebrate the life of my grandmother. It was a beautiful time of stories and reflection that I am so grateful to be a part. 

I read this scripture and am reminded that God has provided me with this opportunity to be with my family and to celebrate the life of my grandmother, a woman who was an example of the kind of faith in God that I want to have. But God is also reminding me to enjoy every moment I have with my family. They have supported us so much during this journey and even from across the world, we feel their love. It is not hard to follow the advice of Paul to keep on doing the things that bring us joy and peace because I know God is with me, guiding me through this journey of grief and loss.

I was also able to talk with my kids and my wonderful husband, who is holding down the fort in Romania. I miss them so much it hurts. We have been together non-stop over the last 9 months and not being with them leaves a empty void in my heart. Thankfully Jeff said the kids are doing well and stepping up to help dad as he works through being a single parent to 3 in a foreign country.

Sunday March 31, 2019

“Without counsel, plans go wrong, but with many advisers they succeed.”  Proverbs 15:22

Apparently Romania observes daylight savings time which resulted in our losing an hour unexpectedly overnight.  Rather than getting to “sleep in” until 8 and then get ready for church, Sara and I “overslept” until 9.  We both realized our mistake right away but fortunately the kids were in good spirits which made a more rapid preparation for the day possible.  Those that wanted to and could do so quickly showered and then we headed out for service.  We are fortunate that even here in the middle of Romania there is a church which offers a service in Romanian and English.  While that means that services run a little longer than our usual 1 hour, we at least get to sing along with most songs and understand the sermon.

After finishing church I walked the kids home along with Anjali’s new friend Rebecca. The girls had made plans to bake a cake following church and then we invited Rebecca’s family, our new friends from New Zealand, over for dinner.  The girls learned, and more importantly were open to, the concept of many advisors.  Anjali has, in the past, been known to attempt to do things on her own without instruction because, as she puts it, she wants to be independent.  Her belief is that independence means capable of doing things on your own with no assistance whatsoever.  Without counsel, plans go wrong.  Unfortunately she has had to learn this lesson often and at most times with great distress as she is also very headstrong.  But in this case, and perhaps because her friend was present, she was more willing to consult a recipe as well as be open to counsel from Sara, our resident baking expert.  As a result, the cake and icing turned out beautifully, a real treat for the 6 kids and 4 adults.  Better yet, Anjali had a great time with baking and spending time with her friend.  I hope that this lesson will reinforce the notion that independence does not mean ignoring good counsel but rather knowing how to use the good counsel around her.

While the girls baked, Sara and I got to spend some time together doing yoga, something we both enjoy but rarely get to do together.  Our detox practice was refreshing and invigorating helping to loosen our bodies and our minds.  I find these hour long practices to be the perfect opportunity to not only feel healthier but to clear my mind of all the clutter that I allow to enter and remain.  I find it is good to clear my thoughts so that I can better allow the good counsel of others to enter, whether it be the quiet voice from God or the more overt voices of my friends, spouse, and children.

 

Sunday March 24, 2019

Colossians 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with thanksgiving.

What a fitting reading for today because it goes right along with the sermon at church this morning which was that we need to lift up our prayers to God who waits for us with arms open affirming that He will never leave or forsake us. Towards the end of the sermon the pastor was very clear in his profession that “God’s timing is always perfect” and that we need to be patient for Him. God will always be there for us and though we may not see His actions when we want, He will respond, which is why we need to be steadfast in prayer and not grow weary (aka: we need to be patient). This part of the sermon was so impactful for me because I know that God was speaking to me through our pastor. He obviously knows that I am needing a constant reminder of this and that is what He is doing. I think I have seen “God’s timing is always perfect” at least 5 times in the last couple of days. God knows me better than I do because I am definitely needing this constant reminder to wait for God to reveal His plan for after our time in Kenya is finished. I know this in my heart, but it is so difficult for me to wrap my head around it. I want the answers and the path now so I can plan and know what is in store for us, but this is not the right time. I guess I need to follow Paul’s instruction and lift these things to God and ask Him for more patience.

As for the day today, I was able to find some daily affirmations to do with the kids and as we left church we recited them together. I don’t think they enjoy or appreciate these as much as I do, but I really don’t care. These affirmations are also a prayer to God. Here is the affirmation we read today:

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If I can get my kids to see the benefits to saying this every day it would eventually be a wonderful start to their day. I think these are all the things that God wants us to accomplish each and every day, and when we actively remind ourselves it will eventually become second-nature and we won’t even need to think about it. I found this verse to be a wonderful reminder:

“But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

Sunday March 17, 2019

Romans 14:17 For the kingdom of God is not food and drink but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 

After our long night with David, Jeff decided to stay home with him for some Father/Son bonding at the grocery store while the girls and I headed for church. Anjali found her new friend immediately and Lucia snuggled up with me during the worship time of singing in both English and Romanian. When it was time for the sermon the kids took off and I was able to sit back and enjoy the message, which was the power of love (nothing like a good Back to the Future and Huey Lewis and the News plug). The message today at church fits right in with my scripture lesson for the day (God sure does know how to drive His point home). Love is the path to true happiness in this life and the only permanent and unending love I know is in God. For the kingdom of God is not food and drink but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Paul was telling the Romans that the kingdom of God is found in love, not in the food and drink they consume. Agape love, the unconditional and sacrificial love of God for us, was mentioned during the sermon and it made me think of a previous post about filling the invisible buckets of others. God regularly asks us to be humble in our ways, take care of brothers and sisters, lift them up when they stumble, and to love them as we love ourselves. These are not always easy tasks to do and sometimes they even come at a cost to us, but isn’t it what Christ has asked of us; to love others the way He loves us. God made us in His image so we are able to give love and receive it, just as He does. And He showed us His love for us with the ultimate sacrifice, His son. But God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us. Romans 5:8.

It was a nice service, though I experienced a bit of tension between the girls on the walk home which no doubt was the direct result of their refusal to go to bed on time last night and their now lack of sleep. Lucia went off the deep end for a bit (I actually had to carry her) and Anjali was happy to just sulk and throw in snide comments here and there. It was such fun. But after we met up with boys back at the house and had some lunch, we headed out for a walk in the beautiful sunshine and everyone seem to be in tolerable moods. It was such a gorgeous day outside and there was no way I could be kept indoors. We explored the Black Church here in Brasov, a church that began back in the mid-1300’s. There was so much history to take in, which was especially difficult to do over our girls finding every way to irritate each other. Afterwards we just walked around the Counsil Square, enjoyed some gelato, did a Facetime with some friends back in Madison, and headed to the playground. I would love to say that the kids had a great time, but I am not sure if they did or not. No one was in a particularly good mood, but besides the girls there wasn’t much fighting either. I enjoyed being in the sunshine and beautiful blue sky, so I will call the day a success.

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Counsel Square
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Lucia playing at the playground
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David and Anjali looking miserable…How could we even think of taking them to a playground?

Lucia didn’t tolerate her tiredness very well and when we got home she went downhill fast, so she was in bed and asleep (after a very long and loud tantrum) by 6:45 tonight and David followed (though with no tantrum) at 7:30. Jeff was invited to play Ultimate Frisbee with one of the dad’s he met yesterday at the birthday party, so he took off at 8:30 and was gone for a couple hours. I missed him a lot and I realized that we haven’t spent much time apart in the evenings and I find that when we do, I really miss his company. We always have so much fun, but I am hopeful he has found an opportunity for some alone time while we are here, a time to make some friends and have some fun!

Saturday March 16, 2019

Psalm 19:12 So teach us to count our days that we may gain a wise heart.

We all were invited to a birthday party for one of the kids downstairs, so we made a quick trip this morning in search of a gift and in the process we picked up a few toys for our kids as well as some journals. I am not sure why the sudden urge has hit them to keep a journal, but as soon as they mentioned it, I immediately wanted to get them started so to make sure I didn’t miss the opportunity. Getting our kids to keep a journal has been next to impossible to accomplish thus far, so we stopped trying. Plus the only good journal will be one that they put a true effort into completing. I really hope this takes off for them and that they buy into the gift of journaling. I pray for them to have a story from their perspective and not just mine. I would love for them to have something to look back on that would remind them of their ups, downs, joys, sorrows, frustrations, etc. We have done, seen, and experienced so much over the last 7 months and thus far all we have is a journal from my point of view.

I pray our children will internalize this scripture reading. So teach us to count our days that we may gain a wise heart. I pray they decide that a journal would serve them well and that they dive in head first to this challenge to start a new habit. A habit of capturing each day, each achievement and struggle, each hardship and joyful event in a way that provides them a window into this journey for them now and when they grow older.

As I look back on the last 7 months that have passed us by, I am so grateful for this daily journal I have kept. There have been times I have gotten behind, but I continue to make this a priority and to be true to our daily happenings. The scripture readings Jeff prepared for me ahead of time provides me with an opportunity for reflection and to see God’s hands in all that we do. I will always have this documented memory of everything that happened during the year we up and left our family, friends, and lives behind to follow God’s calling. My journal may also provide some insight for my children when they get older, and hopefully it will serve as a spark to remember their journey.

This journal provides me the opportunity to share all the ups and downs we face as a family currently living a very unusual life. I have really enjoyed sharing my emotions with all of you, but my initial reason for doing this was to always have a way to look back on this time. The side benefit is to show others that we are a real family experiencing real life, and that this is possible for any family willing to try. Trust me, if I can do it so can you. One of the greatest lessons I have learned this year is that if you are willing to be open to God’s call, He will bless you every step of the way and He will provide you with everything that you may need. My faith has grown stronger because of this journey and I am so thankful that we are doing this as a family and that I have been able to capture most of it in this journal.

Back to the day. We all really enjoyed the party. The kids played with the 10 kids there while Jeff and I enjoyed some good conversation with the adults. I am surprised how after just two weeks of being in Brasov, Romania we have connected with several American families (and a family from New Zealand) doing mission work here, who are also homeschooling. These families have been a huge resource for us as we continue to navigate through this year. As I am sure most of you know by now, homeschooling our children has by far been the most challenging and frustrating part of this whole journey. It hasn’t been the language barriers, the long and grueling travel days, the relocation every two months, or the volunteer work, but hands down it has been trying to teach our children and keep them current with their education. I give some huge props to homeschooling families. Our time here in Brasov has been a wonderful opportunity for Jeff and I to get some pointers from homeschooling veterans. Plus, all of us are getting to converse with people in our own language was a huge blessing today.  Here are some pictures of the party and my kids completely engaged with kids they met within the last 2 weeks!

 

David playing Sleeping Queens with some boys.
Anjali teaching some kids to play Dragonwood.
Honestly, I am not sure what Lucia is doing, but that is par for the course.

We had a very relaxed afternoon today after the party. We all read and hung out here at the apartment. As a family we agreed that the Europe sightseeing vacation we planned after Kenya was not what anyone really wanted or looking forward to, so we scrapped it. (This was a huge weight and I really don’t know why we were planning this in the first place. This year was never about vacations and sightseeing, so why were trying to fit this in at the very end of our trip?) We are still planning to visit with our friends in Germany and Sweden, but after that we will head back to the states (or at least that is the plan at this time, but I am very aware how quickly things can change). As I am sure most of you have read, I have applied for a job that has opened up a new career path for me. I know nothing about whether it is actually an option (I haven’t officially worked in almost 12 years), but I do have a more clear path for what I would like to do. I have really struggled with this part of our impending return to normal life, but with God placing this job in front of me I have a better sense of where I feel I am being called; it may not be this job and that’s okay because His plan will be wonderful and filled with blessings. I still continue to hope that this job is part of His plan, but I am not praying that it is, rather I am saying a prayer of gratitude that God has given me the direction for which I have prayed for so long.

Unfortunately the evening took a turn for the worse when the kids were not doing as they were asked I had to raise my voice. This caused David to spiral into one of his self-defeating moods which progressed quite rapidly. He ended up spending most of the evening up with us as we tried to get him to calm down and to help him realize that mistakes are what make us grow. He chooses to self-punish when he makes a poor choice rather than realize his choice, change his behavior and move on with his life. Instead he chooses to sulk. This happens over the silliest of stuff, like bumping into someone on the street because he wasn’t paying attention (every kid does this!), but he gets so angry at himself and becomes emotionally shut down. Now this isn’t every day, so don’t worry too much about him, but I realized yesterday that we need to work on some self-affirmations that include: mistakes help me grow, I am loved, I am worthy, I am a child of God, I will try my best, failure is an opportunity to try again, etc. So in addition to our daily devotionals (which we have been okay about doing), we will add on a morning affirmation (because when you struggle doing just one thing, why not add another). I will be working hard to lead my children by example and be consistent with our devotional and our now self-affirmations.

Sunday March 10, 2019

Isaiah 41:13 For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Do not fear, I will help you.”

Today we attended church here in Brasov. We found this church on the suggestion of Steffi, one of the co-founders of FFR and she assured us that the service was done in both English and Romanian. A funny side note was that according to Steffi I had a twin living right here in Brasov who was from New Zealand that also attended the church with her husband and three kids. I was overwhelmed by the welcome we received at the church. Catherine (my twin) spotted me right as we were walking up the stairs. The service was wonderful and I loved the lesson in the sermon, which was to listen for God’s plan for us, because God’s plan is always perfect. If we choose to follow our own plans, it will eventually come to a head and will never be as rewarding or as fruitful as when we follow His.

The reading for today speaks to that as well. I think God is speaking to me in very clear ways through the sermon today at church and through this scripture (and honestly through the last few scripture readings). I have really struggled with letting go of planning my future after this year in done. I keep going back to this idea that we have 5 months left and I keep stressing over what’s next, what will we do, where will I work, where will Jeff work, where will we live, etc. All these questions that I am trying to answer and I am failing; I don’t have the answer. I don’t know what I want to do or where I want to work or where we will be. Then these scripture readings and lessons keep coming up…listen for God’s path, God’s plans are better than yours, God will provide for you, God will never leave you, God will help you, etc. the list goes on! I am pretty sure that God knows that I need this constant reminder because He keep trying to pound it into my head. I am trying to surrender to this notion, but I tell you it is not easy.

So today our family had a wonderful Sunday afternoon and evening. We enjoyed just being together, the kids enjoyed playing with their new friends, and we all just enjoyed the Sabbath.

I am forever grateful for God’s patience with me as I try really hard to trust in His ways and His path and His plan and His timing (I think this one is the hardest because I want the answer and the plan NOW!). In my heart I know He will provide and that if we can be patient enough to listen and follow His plan, He will have more blessings for us that we could ever imagine!